It’s no secret that the sports universe in America is pretty sheltered- we’ve got football, baseball, basketball and a bunch of other miscellaneous ones. Still, there are those few random games that capture our attention – poker had its day and people are even starting to pay attention to soccer now that Posh Spice’s husband plays here. In the interest of expanding our culture’s sports horizons, here’s a look at five sports that ought to become more popular, along with tips on how to get the word out.

Cheese Rolling

Cheese rolling is an exercise in simplicity – the event literally entails rolling a wheel of cheese down a hill and chasing it. The official event takes place in Gloucestershire on Cooper’s Hill, a rather steep incline. The event, not surprisingly, attracts plenty of drinking, which can lead to injuries when combined with a high-speed chase down a steep hill. One year, two thirds of the contestants got injured and in 1998, the police shut down the event for public safety. Cheese rolling has a rich history, having combated food rationing (contestants instead chased a wooden wheel with a small piece of cheese inside) and a ban on rural activities due to the foot-and-mouth disease outbreak.

How to make it popular: Make a cheese rolling movie. Ryan Gosling stars as a British man whose family has been chasing the cheese for three generations. However, when he finds out he is lactose intolerant, he flees the country and abandons the sport. He receives word that his father is on his deathbed and emotionally returns to Gloucestershire to honor his family by participating in that year’s race. Woody Harrelson co-stars as his cantankerous, yet loving, personal coach, a former cheese roller himself.

Kabaddi

Kabaddi is a lot like Red Rover; it sounds easy enough for kids to play during recess, but it wouldn’t go a week before someone got hurt and the game got banned. To play, all you need is a field, two teams and the lung capacity of Louis Armstrong. Each team – usually 12 players with five reserves - takes one half of the field. They then take turns sending one person across to the other side. He has to run around and touch as many opposing players as possible, then make it back to his side, all while chanting “kabaddi” in one breath. If the other team blocks him from getting back before he breathes (or passes out), he is out; if not, anyone he touched is out. The sport is popular in rural areas of Asia and has made minor splashes on the world scene, including a rumored demonstration match at the 1936 Berlin Olympics. Today, the sport draws players from around the world to its annual World Cups.

How to make it popular: Any press is good press, so why not use scandal to get the name out? Riding the coattails of the Mitchell Report, news can break of underground Kabaddi players using steroids to increase their lung capacity.

Tuna Throwing

Coming up next January, the Tunarama festival is arguably the highlight of the year in Port Lincoln, South Australia. Even though the festival has such attractions as a slippery pole competition and camel rides, nothing can top the tuna throwing competition. For a grand prize of $7,000, contestants have to launch a full-grown tuna like a hammer throw. For those who were concerned, the competition only uses only spoiled fish, so the event is even somewhat Peta-friendly.

How to make it popular: Current record-holder Sean Carlin (who hurled his tuna an astounding 122 feet) can pull a David Beckham and give tuna throwing some star power here. The undisputable hunk (shown here in his days as an Olympic athlete) just needs to marry a former pop star and sign a huge contract to do professional tuna throwing in Los Angeles. ESPN can take care of the rest of the marketing.

Man versus Horse Marathon

This event is pretty self-explanatory. It’s literally a marathon (actually, the route is 22 miles, but who’s counting?) where humans and horses race against each other. The race is held annually in the tiny British town of Llanwrtyd Wells. Last June marked the 27th running of the marathon and only the second time a human has topped the horse. In fact, the horses were so dominant that a runner didn’t win until the 25th running in 2005.

How to make it popular: This begs for a reality show in the vein of “Dancing with the Stars.” With celebrity horses, that is. Who wouldn’t want to watch the former Black Beauty compete against one of the Budweiser Clydesdales and a gaggle of marathon runners?

Buzkashi

The national sport of Afghanistan, Buzkashi is kind of like polo, except that it’s played with a calf’s carcass. The calf (or goat, if a calf isn’t available) is decapitated and placed in a hole in the ground. Riders on horses compete to grab the body, ride around two poles, then get it back in the “circle of justice.” The winner is the one who gets the calf into the circle, even if he didn’t carry it around the poles, which makes the game mostly pointless until the end. Still, it’s eternally popular in Afghanistan (the Taliban even allowed infrequent matches to be held) because of the way the spirit of the game mirrors the Afghan spirit.

How to make it popular: Let’s be honest, Buzkashi wouldn’t last half a match in America. Any attempt to make it popular would get hit with a backlash even Michael Vick didn’t experience. Still, it could probably merit a special on Spike TV.

Special Thanks to Jason Plautz

Although the first “freak show” at Coney Island opened in 1880, the golden age of the village’s side shows began in 1904 when Samuel W. Gumpertz opened Lilliputia, an entire miniature city scaled for its dwarf and midget inhabitants. Lilliputia became such a popular tourist attraction at Dreamland, Gumpertz spend many years afterwards finding and promoting human oddities. After Dreamland burned in 1911, he opened Dreamland Circus Sideshow. Other side shows soon opened, including The World Circus Freak Show, The Steeplechase Circus Big Show, Hubert’s Museum, The Strand Museum, and Wonderland Circus Side Show. Human oddities who worked in circuses and other traveling shows enjoyed the relative stability and permanence of Coney Island. Here are a few of the most popular.

Lionel, the Lion-faced Man
Lionel, the Lion-faced Man was born Stephan Bibrowski in Poland in 1891. He had long and thick hair all over due to hypertrichosis, a genetic variation once known as “werewolf disease”. Bibrowski was a very intelligent man who spoke five languages and once aspired to become a dentist. His side show act included gymnastic tricks. He appeared at Dreamland Circus in Coney Island in the 1920s.

Violetta, the Limbless Woman
Aloisia Wagner was born in Bremen-Hemelingen, Germany in 1906. She was healthy, but had neither arms nor legs. Her parents raised her to be as self-sufficient as possible. Aloisia entered show business at age 15, took the stage name Violetta, and emigrated to the United States a couple of years later in 1924. Port authorities at Ellis Island almost rejected her as a possible welfare case until they ascertained that she had employment with the Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus. Violetta could move around by hopping. Her performance was centered around her singing, but she also demonstrated her abilities, such as sewing or lighting a cigarette using only her mouth. Violetta performed at Dreamland Circus Side Show in Coney Island as well as touring circuses.

Jean Carroll, the Tattooed Lady
Jean Carroll started her side show career as a bearded lady, and ended it as a tattooed lady! She fell in love with contortionist John Carson, who felt a mutual attraction but couldn’t bring himself to marry a woman with a beard. Jean didn’t want to give up her side show career. After a fifteen-year friendship, Carroll took the plunge and removed her lucrative beard by electrolysis. She then underwent painful all-over tattooing to continue her side show career. The two married and remained lifelong partners.

Zip, the Pinhead
William Henry Johnson was born in New Jersey in 1842. He was thought to be microcephalic, as he had an oddly tapered head with a normal size face. However, he had the intelligence to perform for over 60 years as different personas with the Ringling Brothers and at Coney Island. In his early career, he was billed as a “wild man”, a missing link from Africa. Later on, he became a comedic performer, and even played the fiddle so badly that people paid him to stop. He died a wealthy and popular man at age 84.

The Four-legged Woman
Josephene Myrtle Corbin was born in either Texas or Tennessee in 1868. She had the lower limbs of a dipygus twin growing from her pelvis. She was billed as The Four-legged Woman, but her twin’s legs were too weak to stand on (although she could move them), and her right leg had a clubbed foot. In effect, the four-legged woman really had only one good leg. She married Dr. Clinton Bicknell when she was 19 and eventually had five children. Since her twin had reproductive organs, it was rumored that three children were born from one set of organs and two from the other.

In the mid-20th century, the popularity of side shows declined to the point that most went out of business. Part of the reason was competition from television, but it was also a change in the public’s perception of the freak shows. Modern sensibilities decreed it was wrong to stare at people because of an accident of birth. There was also suspicion that those on exhibit may have been exploited. Some were, but the new attitude was a kick in the teeth to human oddities who were proud to be known as freaks. Side shows allowed them to support themselves financially, and some had become quite wealthy. Coney Island was a community where side show oddities could be accepted by their peers, and where life was easier than constant travel with circuses.

The side show never really died out. Instead, the focus turned from human exhibits to performers. Although we are unwilling to stare and laugh at people for who they are, it’s OK to be entertained by what people do. The new freak shows employ people who have worked hard to become freaks. Sideshows by the Seashore employs several. Founded in 1986, the venue is the brainchild of Dick Zigun who is largely responsible for Coney Island’s recent renaissance.

Insectivora
Insectivora, also known as Angelica, is billed as “The World’s Most Partially Illustrated Woman”. However, her tattoos are just a backdrop for her act. Insectivora breathes fire, eats fire, walks on a ladder of swords as well as on broken glass, swallows razors, and she sings, too! Insectivora has performed at Side Shows by the Seashore for six years.


Serpentina
Serpentina, or Stephanie Torres is a snake charmer and contortionist with Side Shows by the Seashore. Serpentina is the reigning Miss Coney Island.



Donny Vomit
Diamond Donny V, Donald Thomas, or Donny Vomit is the Master of Ceremonies for the Side Show by the Seashore. He also has a full repertoire of freak skills. His act involves some heavy hardware, including animal traps, chainsaws, a straightjacket, an electric chair and a bed of nails.

You can keep up with news from the Coney Island entertainment industry at the Coney Island Freaks Livejournal community. Side Shows by the Seashore also runs a school for those who would like to become freaks.

Special Thanks To MentalFloss

Now that Obama and McCain are on the cusp of choosing Vice Presidents, maybe it’s time to take a look at 10 of the most memorable backup plans, and what they might want to avoid.

1. Chester Arthur was Canadian! [Garfield’s VP]
Chester Arthur took office under the thickest cloud of suspicion. As a lieutenant in Senator Roscoe Conkling’s political machine, Arthur held one of the most lucrative positions in government—collector for the port of New York. For seven years, Arthur raked in approximately $40,000 annually (about $700,000 today), running a corrupt spoils system for thousands of payroll employees. With so much money and power, Arthur developed an affinity for fancy clothes and earned the nickname “the Gentleman Boss.” But his luck didn’t last. President Rutherford Hayes eventually stepped in and fired him from the post.Even with the kickback scandal and claims that he’d been born in Canada (which should’ve disqualified him for the vice presidency), Arthur still managed to get elected on James Garfield’s 1880 ticket. After Garfield passed away 199 days into his presidency, Arthur didn’t hesitate to sign the Pendleton Civil Service Reform Act. Much to the chagrin of Conkling, the Act revamped civil service by effectively killing the same patronage system that made Arthur very, very rich. In cleaning up civil service, Arthur also cleaned up his reputation, and he exited the White House a hero.

2. William Rufus de Vane King was (Pretty Definitely) Gay [Franklin Pierce’s VP]
William R. King was sworn into office in Cuba, becoming the only executive officer to take the oath on foreign soil. King had gone to Cuba to recuperate from tuberculosis and severe alcoholism, but it didn’t work. He died in 1853 after being vice president for just 25 days.That might not be the most memorable thing about King, though. It’s widely rumored that the former VP was homosexual. Further still, he’s suspected of being James Buchanan’s lover. Neither King nor Buchanan ever married, and they lived together in Washington for 15 years before Buchanan became president. Of course, King’s predilection for wearing scarves and wigs only fanned the rumors. President Andrew Jackson used to call him “Miss Nancy,” and Aaron Brown, a fellow Southern Democrat, dubbed him “Aunt Fancy.”

3. Henry Wallace Diverted funds to his Guru [FDR’s 2nd VP]
Henry Wallace was a dedicated devotee of Eastern mysticism. While serving as U.S. Secretary of Agriculture in the 1930s, he allegedly sent his guru to Mongolia under the pretense of collecting grasses that could withstand drought. In reality, Wallace was diverting funds to help his guru hunt for evidence that Christ had visited Asia.But it wasn’t Wallace’s spiritual beliefs that landed him America’s No. 2 job. Wallace was a big Franklin Roosevelt fan and supported his entire platform, which is why Roosevelt handpicked him as his third-term running mate in 1940. Wallace wasn’t popular with the Democratic Party, but when Roosevelt made it clear he wouldn’t run without him, the party acquiesced.As vice president, Wallace made many international goodwill trips. Most famously, he traveled to the Soviet Union, where he experienced a political transformation that resulted in him becoming an avowed Soviet apologist. His communist leanings did nothing for his image, especially once he became secretary of commerce under President Truman. In 1948, Wallace unsuccessfully ran for president on the Progressive Party ticket, espousing views that sounded shockingly Marxist. He even described corporations as “midget Hitlers” attempting to crush the labor class.But nobody can say Wallace didn’t know how to own up to his mistakes. In 1952, he recanted his support of the Soviet Union in a magazine article called “Where I was Wrong.” By then, however, his political career was over. Wallace spent the rest of his life conducting agricultural experiments on his farm in New York. [Image courtesy of Ron Wade Buttons.]

4. Richard M. Johnson’s 3 black mistresses [Van Buren’s VP]
Despite his credentials as a war hero and a Kentucky senator, Vice President Richard M. Johnson was never accepted in Washington. Perhaps that’s because he dressed like a farmhand, cursed like a sailor, and made no secret of his three black mistresses, who were also his slaves. The first mistress bore him two daughters before she passed away; the second tried to run off with a Native American chief, but Johnson captured and resold her; and the third was the second one’s sister. Johnson attempted to introduce this third mistress into polite society, but the couple wasn’t well-received.With the support of Andrew Jackson, Johnson landed the vice presidency under Martin Van Buren in 1836. After four years of public relations disasters, Jackson withdrew his support. Nonetheless, Van Buren kept Johnson on his ticket, and the two lost their re-election bid in 1840.

5. Aaron Burr was a Cassanova [Jefferson’s VP]
No story on vice presidents would be complete without Aaron Burr—best known for shooting and killing Alexander Hamilton in a duel in 1804. After the incident, Burr went back to presiding over the Senate. From there, he plotted a treasonous conspiracy to become emperor of the western United States and Mexico.The plan could have worked, but one of Burr’s co-conspirators ratted him out. He was tried in 1807 before the Supreme Court, which found him not guilty, mainly because he hadn’t actually committed the treason yet. A free man, Burr turned his sights on Florida. He went to France and tried to convince Napoleon Bonaparte to help him conquer the swampland, but that plan foundered, too.Although his political high jinks often failed, Burr consistently found success with the ladies. After his wife died in 1794, Burr remained a bachelor for 40 years, making the acquaintance of several eligible socialites. He enjoyed flirtations with Philadelphia debutantes, as well as a widow named Dolley Payne Todd—later known as Dolley Madison, wife of James Madison. At age 76, Burr married a wealthy widow of ill-repute and plundered her fortune. Citing numerous infidelities on his part, she filed for divorce and was actually granted it. Unfortunately for her, it came through on the day Burr died.

6. John Tyler borrowed cash to get to his inauguration [Harrison’s VP]
When President Harrison succumbed to pneumonia in 1841 after only a month in office, John Tyler became the first vice president to take the Oval Office as the result of a president’s death. Understandably, he was totally unprepared for the job. Like previous VPs, Tyler had expected to carry the title without responsibilities. He’d actually taken such a lax approach to the position that he was enjoying life on his Virginia farm when a messenger brought news of Harrison’s demise. Tyler had to borrow money from a neighbor to catch the riverboat back to Washington.As president, Tyler’s administration was largely unremarkable, except that he annexed the Republic of Texas and became the first president to have Congress override his veto. Tyler was also the first president to receive no official state recognition of his death. Why? By the time of his passing in 1862, he was an official in the Confederacy.

7. Andrew Johnson took the oath Sloshed [Lincoln’s VP]
Andrew Johnson took his 1865 vice-presidential oath drunk as a skunk and belligerent as hell. Having grown up dirt poor, Johnson felt the aristocracy in Washington had abused his kinfolk. Glassy-eyed and smelling of whiskey, he reminded Congress, the Supreme Court, the Cabinet, and pretty much everyone within hearing distance that they owed their positions to “plebeians” such as himself, then kissed the Bible and staggered away.Needless to say, his address was poorly received. The New York World opined, “To think that one frail life stands between this insolent, clownish creature and the presidency! May God bless and spare Abraham Lincoln!” Unfortunately, God didn’t. The South surrendered six days before Lincoln’s assassination, leaving Johnson to handle Reconstruction—a job he bungled so completely that Congress moved to impeach him. Johnson avoided being booted out of office by just one vote.

8. John Breckenridge Hid Out in Cuba [Buchanan’s VP]
By all accounts, John C. Breckenridge was a Kentucky gentleman in the grandest sense. He had an impressive career as a lawyer and a representative in the Kentucky House. More notably, at age 36, he became the youngest vice president in history. But, like Aaron Burr, things took a turn for Breckenridge when he was charged with treason. In September 1861, only a few months after his vice presidential term had ended, Union and Confederate forces invaded his home state of Kentucky. Breckenridge cast his lot with the Confederates, and the federal government promptly indicted him.Breckenridge headed south and became Jefferson Davis’ secretary of war. But when the Confederacy surrendered in 1865, Breckenridge was forced to go on the lam. He hid for the next two months in Georgia and Florida before escaping to Cuba. Breckinridge, his wife, and their children spent the next four years in exile, wandering through Canada, England, Europe, and the Middle East, until President Andrew Johnson issued a General Amnesty Proclamation on Christmas in 1868. The following March, Breckenridge returned to the country with his family, but his name wasn’t officially cleared until 1958, when a Kentucky circuit court judge dismissed his indictment.

9. Nelson Rockefeller tore down that wall [Ford’s VP]
Nelson Rockefeller, as his name suggests, was really, really rich. After a brief stint managing his family’s property and running oil companies, he turned to public service by taking a job in the State Department.Rockefeller quickly gained a reputation as a rather strong-willed person. In 1933, he commissioned Mexican artist Diego Rivera to paint a large-scale mural in the lobby of the RCA Building at Rockefeller Center. The mural featured a likeness of Vladimir Lenin, and the overt reference to communism offended Rockefeller. He asked Rivera to change it to a face of an unknown man, and the artist refused. In response, Rockefeller had the whole mural torn down and carted out in pieces.Rockefeller was equally dissatisfied with his gig as vice president. He refused to run with Ford on the Republican ticket in 1976.

10. Spiro Agnew, the Archie Bunker of the White House [Nixon’s VP]
Spiro Agnew, who preferred to be called Ted, was a seemingly safe choice for Richard Nixon’s running mate in 1968—mainly because he faded easily into the background. But once in office, Agnew thrust himself into the limelight. By delivering a series of divisive speeches defending the Vietnam War and attacking peaceniks, Agnew became the crotchety Archie Bunker of the White House. He lambasted his enemies, peppering his rants with phrases such as “supercilious sophisticates,” “vicars of vacillation,” and “pusillanimous pussyfooting.”Still, much of the country loved him, especially as he remained unsullied by the Watergate scandal. When word got out that the Justice Department was investigating him for extortion and bribery, Agnew vehemently denied the charges. In September of 1973, Agnew spoke at the National Federation of Republican Women in front of thousands of screaming fans, many bearing “Spiro is our Hero” signs. He swore to them, “I will not resign if indicted!”Two weeks later, however, he did just that. Agnew agreed to a plea bargain that involved leaving his post as vice president and paying $150,000 in back taxes. A former lawyer, Agnew was disbarred and took up writing to pay off his debts. In 1976, he penned The Canfield Decision, a tale of a vice president who becomes involved with militant Zionists and is consumed by his own ambition. In 1980, he covered some of the same ground in his autobiography, Go Quietly … Or Else.

1. Perfect 10s All Around!
Scoring a perfect 10 is the dream of every Olympic gymnast. In 1924, 22 male gymnasts made this dream a reality in the same event. But this wasn’t due to some freak occurrence or heightened level of competition – the event was rope climbing, which has since been discontinued.

2. Basketball Gets Dragged Through The Mud
Basketball’s debut at the 1936 Olympics was nothing short of a disaster. Not only were the finals a low scoring affair (the United States snagged gold from Canada in a yawn-inducing 19-8 game), but the conditions were a mess. Part of the problem was Germany’s venue: the game was played outdoors. On a dirt court. In the pouring rain! Playing on mud made dribbling and bounce-passes impossible. Things weren’t much easier for the fans. A lack of seating forced all (approximately 1,000) spectators to stand and watch in the rain.

3. Paris Takes Games To A New Low
As bad as Germany’s basketball planning was, the event barely holds a candle to the 1900 Paris Olympics, which were held in conjunction with the World’s Fair and spread out over five months. Take the marathon, for instance, which was rife with logistical nightmares. The event was run through the city’s active streets, complete with pedestrians and bicyclists. Worse still, several competitors got lost because the course was so poorly marked. Of course, the long race was just one of the many memorable events, including several that would never be seen again. The 1900 Olympics were the only Games to feature such time-wasters as pigeon shooting and swimming through an obstacle course – which included swimming under boats.

4. John Boland Wins An Audience Participation Award
The first modern Olympic Games were held in 1896 and yielded perhaps the most unlikely champion in Olympic history. A student at Oxford, John Boland traveled to Greece as a spectator to take in the excitement. But a friend on the Olympic Committee had signed him up for the tennis competition. Despite a lack of proper attire, the plucky Boland decided to go ahead and play (in his dress shoes, no less) and actually won.

5. Golfer Brings Home Gold (without ever knowing it?!)
Margaret Ives Abbott was the first American woman to win a gold medal. Unfortunately, she lived her entire life without ever knowing what she had accomplished. Since the aforementioned 1900 Paris events were spread out informally over several months, de-emphasizing their Olympic status, she simply thought she had won a nine-hole golf tournament in Paris.

6. The Only Case where “Slow and Steady” Actually Worked
The 1904 Olympic Marathon in St. Louis was perhaps the most brutal event in Olympic history. On a sweltering hot summer day, marathon runners took off on an unpaved dusty course, following pace cars and inhaling exhaust. Many runners had to withdraw to receive medical attention, and even the winner, American Thomas Hicks, needed repeated medical care both during and after the race. And by “medical care,” we mean strychnine and brandy. Of course, our favorite tale from the Games is that of Felix Carvajal, a Cuban who took “The Tortoise” approach to running the race. Despite stopping to chat with spectators and breaking to pick and eat fruit from an orchard (which made him sick), Carvajal still managed to finish in fourth place.

7. And Just A Word On The Games’ (harsh) Origins
The ancient Olympic Games served as the basis for our modern Olympics, and fortunately the whole “competing in the nude” thing wasn’t the only custom left to history. Athletes that arrived late to compete were fined, with the only acceptable excuses being shipwreck, weather or pirates. Athletes that were caught cheating were also fined, but were allowed to keep their winnings. But married women caught watching the Games got it the worst: they were executed. Of course, that probably had something to do with the whole competing in the nude thing.And let’s not forget three of our favorite Olympic athletes. Swede Oscar Swahn won a silver medal in a deer-shooting event at the 1920 Olympics at the age of 72! In 1904, American gymnast George Eyser won six medals (three gold) despite having a wooden left leg, which is even more amazing. But Hungarian pistol shooter Karoly Takacs taught himself how to shoot left-handed after his right (shooting) hand was shattered by a grenade, and then went on to win the rapid-fire shooting event at the 1948 Olympics. He gets our gold.

Special Thanks To Justin Feinstein