"Elementary, my dear Watson" - Sherlock Holmes

This phrase was never uttered by the character in any of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's written works. Though "Elementary," and "...my dear Watson." both do appear near the beginning of The Crooked Man (1893), it is the "...my dear Watson" that appears first, and "Elementary" is the succinct reply to Watson's exclamation a few lines of dialogue later. This is the closest these four immortal words ever appear together in the canon. The association of this quote with the Sherlock Holmes character likely comes from the closing lines of the 1929 film The Return of Sherlock Holmes.

"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates

Often attributed to Gates in 1981. Gates considered the IBM PC's 640kB program memory a significant breakthrough over 8-bit systems that were typically limited to 64kB, but he has denied making this remark. "I've said some stupid things and some wrong things, but not that. No one involved in computers would ever say that a certain amount of memory is enough for all time... I keep bumping into that silly quotation attributed to me that says 640K of memory is enough. There's never a citation; the quotation just floats like a rumor, repeated again and again."

"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." - Neil Armstrong

Possible correct quote: "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind". Some say this was due to a break in the radio transmission between the moon lander and the command module. Although Armstrong claims to have said the correct version, everyone else heard the incorrect version. Armstrong himself was later unsure of whether he left out the crucial article "a". Without saying "a man" the incorrect version is contradictory, as "man" means "mankind". The quote was pointing out that a small step for a man represented tremendous progress for all people.

"Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend me your ears." - William Shakespeare

The quote is often attributed to Julius Caesar; it was actually said by the character Antony in the play. The next line "I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him" makes it clear that Caesar is not the speaker.

"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." - Sigmund Freud

This quote is often attributed to Sigmund Freud to show that even that a famous psychoanalyst can admit that not everything has a profound meaning; However, no variation of this quote ever appears in his writings. It was probably falsely attributed by a journalist, long after Freud's death.

"The end justifies the means" - Machiavelli

Attributed to the political theorist Niccolo Machiavelli's work The Prince. The line is actually from a book in which a fictional Machiavelli is a character.

"My momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." - Forrest Gump

This famous line is spoken by Tom Hanks, playing Forrest Gump in the 1994 film of the same name. However, in Winston Groom's original novel, the "box of chocolates" line is rather different: "Bein' an idiot ain't no box of chocolates." Groom reportedly dislikes the change.

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people." - Dan Quayle

U.S. Representative Claudine Schneider (RI) telling an admitted joke about Quayle

"I am the devil, and I have come to do the devil's work." - Charles Manson

Usually misattributed to Charles Manson, in regard to the murders at the home of Sharon Tate. Manson was not present at any of the murders known to have been committed by his followers. The actual phrase, though not as said above, was uttered by Charles "Tex" Watson to Voityck Frykowski.

"God made beer because he loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin

The quote, and its many variants, has been widely attributed to Franklin; however, there has never been an authoritative source for the quote, and research indicates that it is very likely a misquotation of Franklin's words regarding wine.

"God helps those who help themselves"

The saying is not biblical, although it is an ancient proverb that shows up in the literature of many cultures, including a 1736 edition of Benjamin Franklin's Poor Richard's Almanac.

"Play it again, Sam" - Ingrid Bergman (Casablanca)

Actual quote: "Play it Sam, for old times' sake, play 'As Time Goes By'."

"The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education." - Albert Einstein

Never said that, and is similar to a quote attributed to Mark Twain: "I never let my schooling get in the way of my education".

"Evil is the absence of God." - Albert Einstein

This statement has been attributed to others before Einstein; its first attribution to Einstein appears to have been in an email story that began circulating in 2004.

Speeding to save time?

Let's look at some typical scenarios and see how much time we save by speeding to our destination. Consider three cases that most of us would usually come across:

Case 1: Short Distance, Low Speed Limit

This applies for most in-town driving. Clearly, speeding in this case makes no sense at all. In the chart below, look at the time saved by going 20 mph above the limit. Just 5 minutes! Doesn't seem like it's worth it, does it? Plus, if you drive at 60 mph in a 40 mph zone, you will be noticed (by cops perhaps). Also, in some areas, the traffic lights are synchronized in such way that, if you drive 10 mph over the limit, you will keep hitting red lights.

Case 2: Medium Distance, High Speed Limit

This applies more to situations when you are driving to a nearby town/city. Most of us will generally prefer the freeway for such distances and hence the 70 mph speed limit. Most people will probably start cruising at 5-10 mph over the speed limit. But look at the graph below. Going 10 mph above the speed limit is saving you just a little more than 5 minutes. You could potentially take less time by speeding more, but you need to look at the risk analysis (scroll down for that) before you do that.

Case 3: Long Distance, High Speed Limit

This is about driving to a far away town/city. Alright, so this time you can save 19.29 minutes by driving at 80 mph instead of 70 mph. This one sounds reasonable, doesn't it? Well, if you look at it with only a slightly practical point of view, this doesn't sound very promising either. You will save 19.29 minutes if you
drive constantly at 80 mph for the full 180 miles. In all probability, over longer distances, your average driving speed may be well below 80 mph, considering general traffic, road conditions, traffic lights, etc. You may occasionally pump it to 80 mph, but then that's not going to save you the full 19.29 minutes.

Speeding vs. Risk - Trade-Off

Risk is a inseparable part of the speeding package. To really make sense of whether speeding is worth the time saved, we should look at the risks involved. First, let's look at the risk of getting a speeding ticket in the event that you have a speed measuring laser pointed at your vehicle. The graph shown below is just to give you a feel of how the risk changes with speeding. Note that, there are different laws in different states and this may not be specifically apply to you.

By the way, if you are mathematically inclined, we have used a sigmoid function to draw this graph and assumed that the chance of getting a ticket, when driving 10 mph above limit, is 50%. This particular graph is for a 70 mph speed limit, but you can apply it to any speed limit.



OK, all this is a bit geeky, but stay with us here. The point is to show that about 5-6 mph above the speed limit you probably won't get pulled over for speeding (some states even have official tolerances in this zone). However, beyond this, your luck will start vanishing very rapidly. If you desperately want to speed, your best chances of not getting caught are in Zone 1 and Zone 2 (when you are not going more than 10 mph above the speed limit).

Now, go back to the charts that showed the time gain and look up the time gained by driving just 10 mph above the limit in all of them. Do you still find it worth?

More Risks & Costs

If you are still not convinced, let us throw some hackneyed reasons at you. May be, against the above background, these things will make a greater effect here.

Accidents: Risk To Life

You must have heard this a zillion times: Speeding is just not safe. Speed limits are put up for a reason. They are not just there to frustrate the hell out of you. Some people probably must have spent their lives trying to determine the optimal speed limits for certain roads. Show them some respect.

Fuel: Cost Of Increased Consumption

Speeding costs money. According to a governement study each 5 mph you drive over 60 mph is like paying an additional $0.20 per gallon for gas.

Tickets: Cost Of Fines

Most fines hover in the range of $70 to $150 when you are speeding between 0-20 mph over the limit. Plus, there are court fees and other associated costs (like a driving safety course fee) involved when you get a ticket.

More Monetary Loss: Cost Of Insurance

You won't be very happy with your insurance premiums if you have a couple of tickets sticking in your driving record. Of course, all tickets don't lead to this, but you should keep this in mind.

Lost Peace Of Mind

There are other intangible costs that go beyond monetary values, like stress while driving, stress after getting a speeding ticket, overall loss of time if you are required to go to court.

You could reduce some/all speeding ticket associated risks by using radar detectors and such, but those things won't warn you of an impending accident risk on account of your speeding. Or you could just relax, drive within speed limits, and enjoy your driving.

Special thanks to Fred Nouchi

Many of today’s TV shows have dispensed with the traditional theme song in an effort to squeeze in more commercial time, which fills traditional television fans with a sense of melancholy. Does anyone out there still remember a time when a show’s theme song told the back-story of the series, or was catchy enough to become a Top-40 hit? As Archie and Edith might sigh, “those were the days.” Stroll down memory lane as we take a look at the stories behind some of TV’s classic theme songs.

All in the Family

The cozy picture of Archie and Edith Bunker sitting at the piano singing “Those Were the Days” seems so in context with the series, it’s hard to picture All in the Family without that opening. However, that homey tableau that seemed so perfectly designed to set the tone for the series was concocted strictly out of necessity. Producer Norman Lear had used up his allotted budget by the time he’d filmed the pilot, leaving no money to hire professional singers or musicians to perform the theme song. Series stars Carroll O’Connor and Jean Stapleton stepped in at the last minute to help him out.

Gilligan’s Island

When producer Sherwood Schwartz first showed network executives his pilot for Gilligan’s Island, the suits liked parts of it, but demanded some changes before they bought the series. By the time the first episode aired, new actors had been cast as the Professor, Mary Ann and Ginger and the group was already shipwrecked. In order to explain the premise of the series, Sherwood Schwartz jotted down some lyrics and worked with George Wyle, who came up with the melody and fine-tuned the words to “The Ballad of Gilligan’s Island.” Their intent was to explain precisely why these seven disparate personalities had ended up shipwrecked on an uncharted tropical island. By the way, it was series star Bob Denver who went to bat for Dawn Wells and Russell Johnson and demanded that the theme song lyrics be revised for the second season from “…and the rest” to “…the Professor and Mary Ann.”

Happy Days

Happy Days premiered in 1974 to the strains of Bill Haley & His Comets performing their classic “Rock Around the Clock” as the opening theme song. The show became a massive hit, and programmers expected it to have the legs to run in syndication for several seasons. Studio bean counters, however, quickly realized that they might lose money in the deal because of the steep royalties they had to pay for the song. The good news was that Paramount had commissioned (and owned the rights to) the show’s closing theme, written by Norman Gimbel and Charles Fox. So beginning with Season Three, the familiar “Sunday, Monday, Happy Days…” song was repurposed as the opening theme for the series.

Cheers

The first collaboration between Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo began in 1981, when they were brought in to write the songs for a proposed Broadway musical called Preppies. One of the first tunes they churned out was “People Like Us.” Months later, out of the blue, a Hollywood producer contacted Portnoy; he’d somehow heard a demo tape of “People Like Us” and wanted to use it as the theme to a new TV show scheduled to appear on NBC. Unfortunately, the song contractually belonged to the Preppies folks, and they refused to let it go, especially for use on a sitcom. Time was running out – the airing of the show’s pilot was quickly approaching – and the duo frantically wrote and submitted five more songs before NBC finally decided that “Where Everybody Knows Your Name” was the perfect fit for their new show, Cheers.

The Addams Family

Vic Mizzy is a legend when it comes to TV and film songs; he’s the man responsible for everything from the Green Acres theme to the spooky organ theme from the Don Knotts film The Ghost and Mr. Chicken. But his most popular composition is undoubtedly the theme song for The Addams Family. Filmways was tight with their production dollars, so Mizzy ended up not only composing the tune, but also singing it. (He recorded his vocals on three separate tracks and then blended them together in the final mix.) Once the song was in the can, it was time to film the opening credits. Mizzy approached director Sidney Lanfield and explained his vision of close-ups of finger-snapping cast members. He added that a “click track” (the steady beat of a metronome on tape) would be required so that the actors could snap on cue. Lanfield basically replied, “What do I know from click tracks? Do it yourself.” So Mizzy ended up directing the opening scenes where the cast members impassively stared at the camera while snapping their fingers when prompted.

The Monkees

Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart had a successful track record as a songwriting duo; they’d composed the 1961 hit “Pretty Little Angel Eyes” as well as the theme song for the soap Days of Our Lives. Boyce & Hart were not only songwriters; they were also performers. That led them to audition for parts in a new NBC sitcom based on a rock and roll band. Neither Tommy nor Bobby made the final cut for The Monkees, but their musical ability impressed producers enough for them to be brought on board for a steady gig as the show’s chief songwriters. The duo composed the show’s theme song “(Hey Hey) We’re the Monkees,” as well as “Last Train to Clarksville,” “(I’m Not Your) Stepping Stone” and 20-some other tunes for the Prefab Four.