Sep 2008
The Most Frightening Dance You’ll Ever See - by Chris Connolly
09/23/08
The haka is the most frightening dance you’ll ever
see. And that’s its purpose. It is a Maori war dance,
and each violent movement is designed to intimidate
the enemy. Lined up in rows facing their opponents,
dancers chant and stomp passionately while slapping
their elbows, chests, and thighs. They bulge their
eyes, wag their tongues, and twist their faces into
scowls. To dance the haka, one needs to exude total
confidence and commitment, and for years, it was the
ultimate way for the Maori to ready themselves for
battle.
Before New Zealand was colonized in the mid-1800s, the Maori used the haka to prepare for intertribal warfare. But after the British moved in, the dance found a new purpose—helping to fire up rebellions against Europeans settlers. Unfortunately, the dance was no match for their enemy’s firearms. By the beginning of the 20th century, the Maori had lost most of their ancestral lands, and their culture was quickly fading. War and sickness had whittled down their population to fewer than 50,000 people.
Fortunately, a resilient group of Maori leaders emerged from this bleak landscape to defend their people’s way of life. Specifically, an inspirational activist named Apirana Ngata engineered reforms that increased Maori political power and preserved Maori customs. Slowly, results began to show—and the proof was in the haka.
In 1905, New Zealand’s All Blacks rugby team
performed the dance as a warm-up while on tour in
England. The team, which included both Maori and
white players, represented all of New Zealand, and so
did the haka. Some members of the British audience
were baffled and outraged by the chant, but most
appreciated the power of the ritual and the way it
excited players and fans alike. Since then, the haka
has become not only the All Blacks’ trademark, but
also a symbol of New Zealand unity. The dance is
performed at government functions and cultural
events, and it’s even returned to the battlefield,
albeit in a different form. The New Zealand military
has scripted its own haka, which begins and ends with
performances by female soldiers, as a nod to their
role in protecting the country. The dance that used
to stir men to war has become a symbol for equality
and peace. Once a show of Maori defiance, today, the
haka stands for New Zealand’s solidarity. [Image
courtesy of Archives.govt.nz.]
The Rugby Salute to Women
There have been many variations of the haka throughout history, but the most famous is the All Blacks’ trademark rugby dance, Ka Mate. It tells the story of a great Maori chief named Te Rauparaha and his daring escape from a rival tribe. While hiding in a sweet potato pit, Te Rauparaha’s enemies began chanting incantations to draw him out. But before the magic could take effect, the wife of a friendly chief blocked Te Rauparaha from the spells using the potent power of her female sexuality. Te Rauparaha was saved, and he was so thrilled by his narrow escape that he composed Ka Mate. The lyrics were later adopted by the All Blacks for their pre-game haka, and a tradition was born. When performed by 20 or more heavily muscled rugby players, this tribute to women is one of the most compelling sights in sports.
Don’t Mess With Texas’ Haka
Sports teams are some of the most superstitious groups in the world. If something works for one team, you’re bound to see others trying out the same thing. So it has gone for the All Blacks’ rugby haka. Nowadays, copycat dances have emerged in some unexpected places—from the University of Hawaii to the Mormon haven of Utah’s Brigham Young University. Perhaps most notable, however, is the hakamania of Euless, Texas. During the past 20 years, about 4,000 people migrated there from the Pacific island nation of Tonga, but they never quite felt like they belonged. That is, until the glorious day when their sons and grandsons began warming up Euless’ Trinity High School football games with the haka. Tonga and Maori share a common Polynesian lineage, so the new residents felt right at home. Before long, Texas football fans of all races were chanting the words in unison with the players and sporting T-shirts that read “Got Haka?” The dance promoted team unity and, apparently, also terrified the competition. In 2005, Trinity High School won the state football championship. Here’s a clip:
Before New Zealand was colonized in the mid-1800s, the Maori used the haka to prepare for intertribal warfare. But after the British moved in, the dance found a new purpose—helping to fire up rebellions against Europeans settlers. Unfortunately, the dance was no match for their enemy’s firearms. By the beginning of the 20th century, the Maori had lost most of their ancestral lands, and their culture was quickly fading. War and sickness had whittled down their population to fewer than 50,000 people.
Fortunately, a resilient group of Maori leaders emerged from this bleak landscape to defend their people’s way of life. Specifically, an inspirational activist named Apirana Ngata engineered reforms that increased Maori political power and preserved Maori customs. Slowly, results began to show—and the proof was in the haka.
The Rugby Salute to Women
There have been many variations of the haka throughout history, but the most famous is the All Blacks’ trademark rugby dance, Ka Mate. It tells the story of a great Maori chief named Te Rauparaha and his daring escape from a rival tribe. While hiding in a sweet potato pit, Te Rauparaha’s enemies began chanting incantations to draw him out. But before the magic could take effect, the wife of a friendly chief blocked Te Rauparaha from the spells using the potent power of her female sexuality. Te Rauparaha was saved, and he was so thrilled by his narrow escape that he composed Ka Mate. The lyrics were later adopted by the All Blacks for their pre-game haka, and a tradition was born. When performed by 20 or more heavily muscled rugby players, this tribute to women is one of the most compelling sights in sports.
Don’t Mess With Texas’ Haka
Sports teams are some of the most superstitious groups in the world. If something works for one team, you’re bound to see others trying out the same thing. So it has gone for the All Blacks’ rugby haka. Nowadays, copycat dances have emerged in some unexpected places—from the University of Hawaii to the Mormon haven of Utah’s Brigham Young University. Perhaps most notable, however, is the hakamania of Euless, Texas. During the past 20 years, about 4,000 people migrated there from the Pacific island nation of Tonga, but they never quite felt like they belonged. That is, until the glorious day when their sons and grandsons began warming up Euless’ Trinity High School football games with the haka. Tonga and Maori share a common Polynesian lineage, so the new residents felt right at home. Before long, Texas football fans of all races were chanting the words in unison with the players and sporting T-shirts that read “Got Haka?” The dance promoted team unity and, apparently, also terrified the competition. In 2005, Trinity High School won the state football championship. Here’s a clip:
More Totally Useless Information
09/16/08
The split-fingered Vulcan salute from Star Trek is derived from an Orthodox ritual called the Blessing Hands, used to anoint congregations on holy days. Star Trek icon Leonard Nimoy, whose grandfather was Orthodox, remembered the hand gesture from his childhood visits to the synagogue with his grandfather and borrowed it for his role as Mr. Spock.
Gerald
Ford is the only person to serve as both president
AND vice-president of the US without having been
elected to either office.
If an Oscar winner has any inklings about selling
his/her statue, it must first be offered to the
Academy who can purchase it for $1.
Prior to the 1800's, people tried to clean their
teeth using eggshells and abrasives. Not until 1824
did an American dentist named Peabody come up with
the idea to add soap to tooth powder, thus giving it
a cleansing agent.
Thomas Edison had five dots (like you see on dice)
tattooed onto his left forearm.
In 1983's Return of the Jedi, three different actors portrayed Darth Vader. The man in the costume was David Prowse, the voice was that of James Earl Jones, and the revealed face was that of Sebastian Shaw.
Though uncredited in the film, Debra Winger provided parts of the the voice for E.T.
The first known chain letter appeared in 1888 asking for money for the poor in Tennessee and promising God's blessing in return. (Pass this on to ten friends)
Despite the horrific display, nearly two-thirds of those who were on board the Hindenburg survived its 1937 mishap.
The only letter of the alphabet that does not appear in any of the U.S. territory or state's name is Q.
Restaurant chains like Applebee's and TGIFriday's have their staff sing a specialized song to wish customers a happy birthday in order to avoid paying royalties, since "Happy Birthday to You" is a copyrighted tune.
How Do Hurricanes Get Their Names? by Matt Soniak
09/09/08
Let's start small. What is a hurricane?
Tropical
cyclones are storm systems that develop in the
tropics, characterized by a low pressure center and
thunderstorms that produce strong winds, rain and
storm surges. "Tropical cyclone" is a generic term
that refers to the storms' geographic origin and
cyclonic rotation around a central "eye." Depending
on their location and strength, the storms are called
by other names. When a tropical cyclone occurs in the
Atlantic Ocean and has winds with a sustained speed
of at least 74 miles per hour, it's called a
hurricane. The same storm occurring in the
northwestern Pacific Ocean would be called a typhoon.
What's the difference between a hurricane and a tropical storm?
It's
a matter of wind speed. Tropical cyclones, when
they're just starting out as general areas of low
pressure with the potential to strengthen, are called
tropical depressions. They're given a sequential
number as they form during the storm season. Once a
storm's winds kick up to 39 mph and sustain that
speed for 10 minutes, it becomes a tropical storm,
and the National Hurricane Center gives it a name
(more on this later). If the storm keeps growing and
wind speeds hit 74 mph, we call it a hurricane.
Once we call it a hurricane, how do we categorize it?
We look to the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Scale, developed as a classification system for tropical cyclones in the Western Hemisphere in 1971 by structural engineer Herbert Saffir and meteorologist Robert Simpson, who was director of the National Hurricane Center (NHC) at the time.
When Saffir was working for the United Nations to study low-cost housing in hurricane-prone areas, it struck him that there was no scale for describing hurricanes and their damaging effects in a simple way, like the Richter scale is used to describe earthquakes. He created a 1-5 scale based on wind speed and sent it off to the NHC. Simpson expanded Saffir's work to include the effects of storm surge and flooding and began using it at the Center.
Is there anything worse than a Category 5?
Not on paper, but there have been hurricanes that have gone beyond the upper bounds of the scale. Hurricane Wilma, which hit the U.S. in 2005, was the most intense hurricane ever recorded in the Atlantic, with winds peaking at 175 mph.
Hypothetically, hurricanes could get even worse. The storms use warm water to fuel themselves. As ocean temperatures rise, climatologists predict that potential hurricane intensity will increase. But don't expect the scale to change. Both Saffir and Simpson have said that there's no need to add more categories because once the winds go beyond 156 mph, the damage looks the same: really bad.
How do hurricanes get their Names?
Since Europeans first came to the Americas and the Caribbean, hurricanes were named using a variety of systems. First they were named after Catholic saints. Later on, the latitude-longitude positions of a storm's formation was used as a name. This was a little too cumbersome to use in conversation.
Military meteorologists started giving female names to storms during World War II, and in 1950 the World Meteorological Organization (WMO) adopted the method. The WMO devised a system of rotating, alphabetical names. (Names can be retired at WMO meetings by request from a nation that has been hit by the storm. The name is then not used for 10 years, which makes historic references and insurance claims easier.)
In 1979, the system was given a dose of political correctness: male names were added to the list, as were French and Spanish names, reflecting the languages of the nations affected by hurricanes.
Today, the WMO uses six lists of 21 names (Q, U, X, Y and Z names are not used) that it cycles through every six years, with the gender of the season's first storm alternating year to year, and genders alternating through the rest of the hurricane season. If there are more than 21 named storms in a year, as there were in 2005, the rest of the storms are named for letters in the Greek alphabet. Occasionally, a storm suffers something of an identity crisis and has its name changed. This happens when a storm crosses from one ocean to another, or if it dies down and then redevelops.
Will my name be a hurricane this year?
If your name is Nana, then yes. The names being used for the 2008 season are Arthur, Bertha, Cristobal, Dolly, Edouard, Fay, Gustav, Hanna, Ike, Josephine, Kyle, Laura, Marco, Nana, Omar, Paloma, Rene, Sally, Teddy, Vicky and Wilfred.
What's the difference between a hurricane and a tropical storm?
Once we call it a hurricane, how do we categorize it?
We look to the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Scale, developed as a classification system for tropical cyclones in the Western Hemisphere in 1971 by structural engineer Herbert Saffir and meteorologist Robert Simpson, who was director of the National Hurricane Center (NHC) at the time.
When Saffir was working for the United Nations to study low-cost housing in hurricane-prone areas, it struck him that there was no scale for describing hurricanes and their damaging effects in a simple way, like the Richter scale is used to describe earthquakes. He created a 1-5 scale based on wind speed and sent it off to the NHC. Simpson expanded Saffir's work to include the effects of storm surge and flooding and began using it at the Center.
Is there anything worse than a Category 5?
Not on paper, but there have been hurricanes that have gone beyond the upper bounds of the scale. Hurricane Wilma, which hit the U.S. in 2005, was the most intense hurricane ever recorded in the Atlantic, with winds peaking at 175 mph.
Hypothetically, hurricanes could get even worse. The storms use warm water to fuel themselves. As ocean temperatures rise, climatologists predict that potential hurricane intensity will increase. But don't expect the scale to change. Both Saffir and Simpson have said that there's no need to add more categories because once the winds go beyond 156 mph, the damage looks the same: really bad.
How do hurricanes get their Names?
Since Europeans first came to the Americas and the Caribbean, hurricanes were named using a variety of systems. First they were named after Catholic saints. Later on, the latitude-longitude positions of a storm's formation was used as a name. This was a little too cumbersome to use in conversation.
Military meteorologists started giving female names to storms during World War II, and in 1950 the World Meteorological Organization (WMO) adopted the method. The WMO devised a system of rotating, alphabetical names. (Names can be retired at WMO meetings by request from a nation that has been hit by the storm. The name is then not used for 10 years, which makes historic references and insurance claims easier.)
In 1979, the system was given a dose of political correctness: male names were added to the list, as were French and Spanish names, reflecting the languages of the nations affected by hurricanes.
Today, the WMO uses six lists of 21 names (Q, U, X, Y and Z names are not used) that it cycles through every six years, with the gender of the season's first storm alternating year to year, and genders alternating through the rest of the hurricane season. If there are more than 21 named storms in a year, as there were in 2005, the rest of the storms are named for letters in the Greek alphabet. Occasionally, a storm suffers something of an identity crisis and has its name changed. This happens when a storm crosses from one ocean to another, or if it dies down and then redevelops.
Will my name be a hurricane this year?
If your name is Nana, then yes. The names being used for the 2008 season are Arthur, Bertha, Cristobal, Dolly, Edouard, Fay, Gustav, Hanna, Ike, Josephine, Kyle, Laura, Marco, Nana, Omar, Paloma, Rene, Sally, Teddy, Vicky and Wilfred.
Celebrities and their Ridiculous Demands
09/01/08
Everyone knows rock and roll is about thrills and
excess—we just didn’t realize that spirit was
supposed to extend to the greenroom buffet. The
following are seven very pampered acts that made sure
their laundry list of demands got tacked onto their
contracts.
1. Van Halen and the Whole M&M’s Thing
Van Halen first gained notoriety for their stipulation that, at every gig, their dressing room was to contain a large bowl of M&M’s, but with all the brown ones removed.
And while this has often been cited as proof of
the band members’ towering egos, it was actually
included by tour promoters as an easy way of seeing
if the concert venues had read the contract
thoroughly (particularly the parts about technical
requirements). But sneaky M&M tactics aside, Van
Halen’s riders are also notorious for the sheer
volume of alcohol they stipulate. One rider specified
that their dressing room was to contain a case of
beer, a pint of Jack Daniel’s, a pint of Absolut, a
750 ml bottle of Bacardi Añejo rum, three bottles of
wine, small bottles of Cointreau and Grand Marnier,
and a 750 ml bottle of one of five specific premium
tequilas. Don’t forget six limes, margarita salt,
shot glasses, ingredients for Bloody Marys, and a
blender. Sure, there are only four dudes in the band,
but shouldn’t you expect this sort of behavior from a
group whose bassist plays a guitar shaped like a
bottle of Jack?
2. J-Lo’s Trailer from the Park
There are divas, there are superdivas, and then there’s Jennifer Lopez.
That’s right, the same sultry soulstress who
preaches the “keep it real” street mantra also
happens to require a trailer at least 40 feet in
length, in which everything is white. That means
drapes, couches, candles, tablecloths, lilies, and
roses (she also requires yellow roses with red trim
thrown in as well). And if you’re hoping to keep a
prolonged smile on “Jenny from the Block’s” pretty
mug, you can’t forget the selection of current CDs
she requires, chosen from a list of 43 artists, or
her three favorite scented candles from
Diptyque—Tuberose, Figuier, and Heliotrope. And
that’s just from her contract for a charity song
benefiting AIDS victims in Africa! Oh, and did we
mention Jenny was only at the event for a total of 90
minutes? It’s almost as if her ego’s as big as her .
. . nope, too easy.
3. Guns N’ (Long-Stemmed) Roses
They were one of the biggest bands of the 1980s and ’90s. Just ask them. And in a band of big egos, the very biggest was lead singer Axl Rose. He had his own dressing room, stocked with plenty of the things a vocal professional needs: hot water and honey (Sue Bee brand only); a rib-eye steak dinner; a large pepperoni pizza; a deli tray with a heavy emphasis on lean roast beef, ham, and turkey; and a bottle of Dom Perignon. His bandmates had much simpler tastes. Their dressing room was to contain lots of chips, nuts, exotic fruits, and cheese. Of course, they went a little less simple on the drinks. Aside from a few cases of soda, the band also required four cases of beer, two fifths of Jack Daniel’s, two fifths of Stolichnaya vodka, two bottles of Chardonnay, and a bottle of Jägermeister. Oh, and don’t forget to throw in a couple bottles of . . . carrot juice? Clearly, it’s the cornerstone behind every successful rock act. As are the four cartons of cigarettes and the assortment of adult magazines you’ll need to provide.
4. Meat Loaf (Just a Little Overdone)
Yes, that Meat Loaf. The man who brought us Bat
Out of Hell obviously requires quite a bit in return.
His rider states that the promoters are to recognize
that they are dealing with an international
“superstar” and therefore all provisions must be
first class, as befits a “superstar.” And that’s two
words: Meat. Loaf. Sheesh! His dressing room spread
must include, among many other things, a loaf of 100%
multigrain bread (preferably Vogel’s Flaxseed &
Soy), two bags of potato chips, a package of low-fat
chicken or turkey wieners, four Gala apples
(specifically, hard and crunchy ones), four low-fat
fresh-baked muffins from a bakery, steamed broccoli
and green beans amandine (not too soggy), a sliced
roast pork tenderloin, a sliced roast beef
tenderloin, and two baked potatoes. And this is
supposed to feed two people. We’re guessing they’re
both for the Loaf.
5. Poison’s Poison
Pretty standard for a rock band, really. Deli trays, condiments, lots of booze, etc. But what was Poison’s poison? Apparently, pyrotechnics. Their contract also required that all the venue’s smoke and fire detectors be switched off due to the band’s flair for flares. So how do we think the concertgoers would feel knowing that little tidbit? Also very odd, Poison’s rider stipulates that an American Sign Language interpreter must be made available on request for the band’s deaf fans. And the band will need 24 hours’ notice if the ASL interpreter needs the lyrics beforehand. Of course, some critics claim that most of the band’s fan base was deaf (records sold being proof).
6. The Village People’s Payment Plan
You might think that a bunch of guys as past their prime as The Village People would just be glad to get a gig. Nope. They still draw a crowd, so therefore they still have demands in their rider.
The front page of their rider contains one
stipulation: that all balances to The Village People
be paid in “CASH” (yes, it’s in all caps). It goes on
to say that they can only be photographed in costume,
that they won’t fly in prop planes, and that they
prefer certain seats in the plane (as specific as
“aisle, rear right side of plane” for the Navy guy)
and certain airports of origin. Disco may be dead,
but ego certainly seems to be staying alive.
7. Various Spoiled Artists
Oh, there are just so many. Celine Dion requires a children’s choir with 20 to 24 children of all races. Pavarotti used to demand that there be no noise backstage or distinct smells anywhere near him; but he did want a golf cart.
Cher can’t perform without a wig room, cable TV
that gets Turner Classic Movies, and a room for her
massage therapist. “Weird Al” Yankovic is a strict
vegan and forbids Dasani water. Elton John demands
that his dressing room be kept at 60° in summer and
70° in winter. And Busta Rhymes insists that there be
no pork or beef anywhere near his dressing room; but
he does want a 24-piece bucket of KFC and a box of
Rough Riders condoms.
Special Thanks to MentalFloss
1. Van Halen and the Whole M&M’s Thing
Van Halen first gained notoriety for their stipulation that, at every gig, their dressing room was to contain a large bowl of M&M’s, but with all the brown ones removed.
2. J-Lo’s Trailer from the Park
There are divas, there are superdivas, and then there’s Jennifer Lopez.
3. Guns N’ (Long-Stemmed) Roses
They were one of the biggest bands of the 1980s and ’90s. Just ask them. And in a band of big egos, the very biggest was lead singer Axl Rose. He had his own dressing room, stocked with plenty of the things a vocal professional needs: hot water and honey (Sue Bee brand only); a rib-eye steak dinner; a large pepperoni pizza; a deli tray with a heavy emphasis on lean roast beef, ham, and turkey; and a bottle of Dom Perignon. His bandmates had much simpler tastes. Their dressing room was to contain lots of chips, nuts, exotic fruits, and cheese. Of course, they went a little less simple on the drinks. Aside from a few cases of soda, the band also required four cases of beer, two fifths of Jack Daniel’s, two fifths of Stolichnaya vodka, two bottles of Chardonnay, and a bottle of Jägermeister. Oh, and don’t forget to throw in a couple bottles of . . . carrot juice? Clearly, it’s the cornerstone behind every successful rock act. As are the four cartons of cigarettes and the assortment of adult magazines you’ll need to provide.
4. Meat Loaf (Just a Little Overdone)
5. Poison’s Poison
Pretty standard for a rock band, really. Deli trays, condiments, lots of booze, etc. But what was Poison’s poison? Apparently, pyrotechnics. Their contract also required that all the venue’s smoke and fire detectors be switched off due to the band’s flair for flares. So how do we think the concertgoers would feel knowing that little tidbit? Also very odd, Poison’s rider stipulates that an American Sign Language interpreter must be made available on request for the band’s deaf fans. And the band will need 24 hours’ notice if the ASL interpreter needs the lyrics beforehand. Of course, some critics claim that most of the band’s fan base was deaf (records sold being proof).
6. The Village People’s Payment Plan
You might think that a bunch of guys as past their prime as The Village People would just be glad to get a gig. Nope. They still draw a crowd, so therefore they still have demands in their rider.
7. Various Spoiled Artists
Oh, there are just so many. Celine Dion requires a children’s choir with 20 to 24 children of all races. Pavarotti used to demand that there be no noise backstage or distinct smells anywhere near him; but he did want a golf cart.
Special Thanks to MentalFloss